Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Randomize
