he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Randomize
