listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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