Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
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