i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
