I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
