hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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