he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
