I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
