I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
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