i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
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