Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I need to calm my uterus...
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
