Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
How's work?
Spinning.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
You've changed since you got that strap on
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
