I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
