we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
