guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
