im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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