the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Randomize
