youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I got her a Nickelback box set.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
