dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
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