Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
