That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Randomize
