dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
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