Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Even my vagina gasped.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
