No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
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