just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Randomize
