I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
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