Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
So squirting runs in the family.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
