Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Two words: blizzard sex
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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