tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
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