i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Randomize
