We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
