Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Randomize
