Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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