her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
