Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
