i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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