Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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