Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I believe in your delicious
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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