i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
