I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
oh god was she eating orange peels again
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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