To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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