I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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