i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
MIDGETS
????
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
