I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Couch. On fire.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
