D3 body, D1 cock
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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