i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
