If that was your dad, he is hot
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Randomize
