It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
me + whiskey = a bad person
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Randomize
