Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
